Balancing Holiday Cooking With Diabetes

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Question:

I know, well, I hope, you didn’t mean this to be offensive, but I find it so. You are obviously talking about adults with diabetes, not children (parents of children with diabetes see the doctor, along with the child). I find it offensive that you think anyone should be in a position where they ‘allow’ other adults to eat or not. Perhaps a tad overeacting?

Actually, I had a similar reaction to the original post — I though it was patronizing. I understand what you are saying, but I didn’t read it the way you did. And I find what Mark said to be right on the money! My wife is my conscience. She keeps up with the diet situation as much as I do and I constantly look to her for advice on whether I can fit this or that into my food plan. Should I eat this? How will this affect me? And the like. Frankly, I could do it without her, but it would be much harder. In the strictest sense she is not "allowing" me to eat or not to eat, just advising me. The decision is mine.

I’m glad that this works for you. One thing that my boyfriend and I agreed on right after I was diagnosed was that he wouldn’t play "food cop" (our terminology), and I wouldn’t expect him to. This is partly because we’ve had a lot of opportunity to observe a woman who has to play this role con- stantly (because her diabetic husband has Parkinson’s disease), and it’s not fun for her, for her husband, or for anyone around them. So perhaps we’ve veered too far in the other direction. Although my boyfriend knows a lot about my eating restrictions, he hasn’t gotten into the nuts and bolts of it (which is just fine with me), so he’s not really in a position to advise me about my eating. Just returned from a family holiday gathering in MA. And, believe me, if I didn’t have my "conscience" with me, the family would have me eat all kinds of things that I shouldn’t – and I MAY have succumbed – we all want people to agree that what we do is OK, even if we are eating, or drinking, something we shouldn’t. Even a brother-in-law, just diagnosed as T-2, takes a very cavalier attitude toward "cheating" – his doctor told him he has a mild case and did not encourage all the things my doctor did for me – and the rest of the family, not understanding diabetes, goes along with it. "Oh, come on, just one piece of pie won’t hurt – why Aunt Bessie had diabetes and she could do it."

This kind of behavior really burns me. Aunt Bessie and I are not the same person! Sigh. I, for one, really appreciate someone keeping my best interest at heart and providing the kind of foods I CAN eat rather than trying to tempt me and providing all the things I can’t.

Yes, of course. The problem is that many people don’t have a very good grasp of what diabetics can and can’t eat (especially since this is dif- ferent for every diabetic). If you’ve decided, based on all that you know about your body and your disease, that you can have a small piece of pie on a special occasion, do you want people looking disapproving and telling you not to eat it? /Janet — "Imagine yourself suddenly set down surrounded by all your gear, alone on a tropical beach close to a native village, while the launch or dinghy which has brought you sails away out of sight." – Bronislaw Malinowski

Response:

Perhaps a little, but I do get fed up with people with attitudes like his. I understand what you are saying, but I didn’t read it the way you did. And I find what Mark said to be right on the money!

To put it down in black on white (or whatever colours your monitor displays): this is, IMHO, what someone should do who is expecting someone for dinner who they know has diabetes: 1/ Ask. 2/ If the diabetic makes a request, follow it up. 3/ Let your guest know what is going to be served, and when. If the guest may not have eaten any item before, and it is not self-evident, explain the contents. 4/ If the meal is going to be late, or the contents change, tell your guest as soon as possible, and (in case of lateness) ensure that there is something to ‘keep them going’ at the previously planned time – again, ask if the ’something’ is the right something. 5/ Let your guests serve themselves, or give instructions about portion sizes. 6/ Work hard on the skills of being a good host: your aim should be to create an atmosphere where your guest can feel perfectly happy about asking for something which is not on the table, declining to eat something, or asking to see the packet it came from, or doing anything else. These are just common courtesies, which virtually 100% of the population would appreciate. Best wishes, — Pat Reynolds "It might look a bit messy now, but just you come back in 500 years time" (T. Prattchet)

Response:

Perhaps a tad overeacting? I understand what you are saying, but I didn’t read it the way you did. And I find what Mark said to be right on the money! My wife is my conscience. She keeps up with the diet situation as much as I do and I constantly look to her for advice on whether I can fit this or that into my food plan. Should I eat this? How will this affect me? And the like. Frankly, I could do it without her, but it would be much harder. In the strictest sense she is not "allowing" me to eat or not to eat, just advising me. The decision is mine. Just returned from a family holiday gathering in MA. And, believe me, if I didn’t have my "conscience" with me, the family would have me eat all kinds of things that I shouldn’t – and I MAY have succumbed – we all want people to agree that what we do is OK, even if we are eating, or drinking, something we shouldn’t. Even a brother-in-law, just diagnosed as T-2, takes a very cavalier attitude toward "cheating" – his doctor told him he has a mild case and did not encourage all the things my doctor did for me – and the rest of the family, not understanding diabetes, goes along with it. "Oh, come on, just one piece of pie won’t hurt – why Aunt Bessie had diabetes and she could do it." I, for one, really appreciate someone keeping my best interest at heart and providing the kind of foods I CAN eat rather than trying to tempt me and providing all the things I can’t. Allowing me to eat? I prefer to think they are being considerant of my situation? But I make the decision. BTW – I’d recommend the SHN site also. The more we know, the better we can manage our diabetes. Bill Smith in SC

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Thanksgiving is a hard time to cook for family members on a medical diet. The temptation is to spoil them, or allow them to indulge themselves, but then they get into real trouble. I thought I’d start this thread to see what everyone is doing. There’s a great web resource I know of called "Healthy Holiday Recipes" on the Sapient Health Network (http://www.shn.com/). People with diabetes are sending in their best healthy cooking ideas, and then SHN is going to publish them on the page. In general, if you don’t know about SHN, it’s highly recommended. They have an excellent library of information on diabetes, an active bulletin board, automated and personalized "bookshelves" of the latest research, constantly updated. One of the most frustrating things about having a family member with a chronic condition is not knowing where to look for good information, and how to find it on your own. Your spouse/parent/child sees a doctor, but who do you see? SHN provides for that. Anyway, folks, what’s cooking? Mark

Response:

Thanksgiving is a hard time to cook for family members on a medical diet. The temptation is to spoil them, or allow them to indulge themselves, but then they get into real trouble. I thought I’d start this thread to see what everyone is doing. There’s a great web resource I know of called "Healthy Holiday Recipes" on the Sapient Health Network (http://www.shn.com/). People with diabetes are sending in their best healthy cooking ideas, and then SHN is going to publish them on the page. In general, if you don’t know about SHN, it’s highly recommended. They have an excellent library of information on diabetes, an active bulletin board, automated and personalized "bookshelves" of the latest research, constantly updated. One of the most frustrating things about having a family member with a chronic condition is not knowing where to look for good information, and how to find it on your own. Your spouse/parent/child sees a doctor, but who do you see? SHN provides for that. Anyway, folks, what’s cooking? Mark

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